Talking about Friend's date on Saturday
- Friend: We met online, but that's not important. But he's republican....
- Me: Nope, as long as you lik-- BURN HIM TO THE GROUND
My idea of the perfect date is a guy coming over to watch Doctor Who on Netflix and ordering Chinese take out for dinner.
Today this girl in class looked different because she had straightened her hair and I told her it was so pretty and straight and she goes “unlike me”. So me thinking that she has bad self esteem, I say “don’t say that. You’re pretty.” To which she replies “oh no, im pretty. I’m just not straight.” And I shit you not my stomach still hurts from laughing too hard.
i said that
this is the legacy that i leave behind
making jokes about my sexuality